Tuesday, April 28, 2020

10 ways to find love, be in love and remain in love.


Sir. Princewill  ODIDI
10 ways to find love, be in love and remain in love. 

1. Relationships works better when a man loves his wife and not vice versa. The male has an inbuilt ability to love his wife, and women have an inbuilt ability to be submissive when shown true love. A woman is an embodiment of love, stored and preserved for a good man. A man who finds a wife finds a good thing as the bible states, but have a divine responsibility to cultivate this hidden treasure embedded in the woman’s bosom. A man’s ability to cultivate his wife’s hidden feelings is the bases of love. A man who steps out to say” my wife does not love me”, is rather at fault. Women are created to react not to act. Men are rather created to act. 

2. The first step to find love is to be yourself at all times. Being yourself at all times will lead you to the spouse who will love you for what you truly are. Tradition holds it that you can only find a good spouse in the church or religious places. This is far from the truth. Most people have found true love in churches, others in clubs, some on social media. Don’t create limitations on where you can find true love. The man or woman that will admire you may do that in a place never expected.  Why most people find it hard to find true love is that when they meet an opposite partner, they start with pretense, trying to show the best side about themselves. This approach does not work well for lasting love. You can lure your spouse to falling in love with the false you, but whenever he discovers who you truly are it affects his affection for you. Some have argued that true love starts with friendship, likeness and love. Friendship is essential in true relationships because that’s the only pillar that holds a lasting relationship in the long run.

 3. Excellent communication comes with Joy in a relationship.  True lasting love comes with the ability to maintain good communication with your spouse. Again, when communicating with your spouse at the start of your relationship always be yourself. Poor communication in some marriages and in some cultures is promoted as being manly. Men in some cultures prefer to be feared rather than being respected.  Some cultures assume that being gentle towards your spouse is a sign of weakness. Some of these cultures assume that being a man is being hard and difficult. Being hard and difficult towards your spouse can lead to him or her being respectful and fearful, but it kills true love and genuine affection. True love comes with unconditional humility towards each other in a relationship.  If you are used to abusive language maintain it. A spouse that will love you truly will laugh over your bad and abusive language rather than finding it offensive. True love sees no wrong. Don’t try to act love, true love comes from the mind. Attempting to create conversations makes your partner board, but being yourself when you have conversations makes your spouse comfortable and opens up to you. Good communication is essential for true love. Communication is the spice of a lasting relationship.

 4. You have peace of mind if you learn to be comfortable with your spouse habits.  Let your spouse see your old ugly habits, let him or her react to it before you attempt to change if possible. If you are the type that keeps dishes undone, at the start of your search for true love, let your spouse notice that. Most people put up good habits whenever they have a new relationship. A habit is a habit. You may suppress a habit, but it will surely come up in due course when you least expect.

5. Those who have traits of forbearance usually do not attempt to change others. Don’t attempt to change your spouse. This usually is the first sign of failed relationships. No two people are the same. True love effects changes when due. Don’t create the habit of finding faults in your spouse. At the start a relationship, partners may take corrections with caution, but on the long run, it can be a turn off.

6. If you learn to show kindness to your spouse, you will adapt with his or her mannerism easily.  Understanding your spouse mannerism is essential for a true and lasting relationship. Understand your spouse dressing habit, eating habit, helps build true love. Learn to appreciate the weakness of your spouse before you think of criticizing him or her. Do not discuss anything negative about your spouse with your friends or colleagues. Whatever quarrels you have, try to resolve it among yourselves. The first step of a broken relationship is bringing in third parties.

 6. Goodness is an attribute you build over time. Good eye contacts builds better affection. Maintain eye contact whenever you are with your spouse. Eye contact is essential in the maintenance of true love. Don’t hold back vital information from your spouse. Let your spouse know and see the true side of you at all times.

 7. Faithfulness is paramount in any relationship. Cheating on your spouse can cause emotional stress and hatred for each other.  Spouses who cheats on each other find themselves growing apart. At a point, they tend to resent themselves.   Never assume the actions or inactions of your spouse. In most cases your assumptions may tend to add up, but may be wrong. If your spouse is fond of extending a good morning kiss to you every day, whenever it does not happen, never assume anything is wrong. Wrong assumptions about your spouse destroys trust and build up undue suspicion. Always give your spouse the benefits of doubts in all cases.

  8. One of the proven ways to enjoy your spouse company is showing acts of gentleness. If there is one person you should show gentleness towards it is your spouse.  True love enjoys each other’s company at all times. True love finds those things that keeps his or her partner happy and builds on it. If your partner enjoys good food, then improve on it. If your partner is neat, don’t overlook it, improve on your neatness as much as possible. If you operate joint financial accounts with your spouse, watch his reactions on how your funds are spent. Try to work with your spouse. Try to identify his strengths and weaknesses.

 9. Don’t bring in third parties to your relationship. Your spouse should be your best friend in good times and bad times. Whenever there is disagreement, if you cannot resolve it amicably, let the stronger accept the blame, establish peace and then attempt to bring it up again whenever you are in better mood.

 10. Let God have a place in your relationship. You may not be very religious, but spending time every morning with your spouse to say a short prayer can fix a lot of problems. Your spouse in some cases after morning prayers, may open up to talk about some stored grievances. Always show care and concern to your spouse.

If you are not married as a man and you are above thirty years old, start searching. You don’t need money to find true love. A woman who loves at nothing, will love you in plenty. True love sometimes is said to be blind.

The author, Princewill Odidi is a Social and Political Commentator who resides in the United states .([email protected])